In a perfect world you would be able to tune the reality towards your own needs: a perfect partner, always healthy, a great job, inspiring colleagues, harmony in your family, financially independent, nice weather, etcetera.

In practice reality differs from your ideal image. And it's quite annoying once the gap becomes too big. Adjusting the reality seems nice, but seldomly provides a sustainable solution: also your new boss turns out to be quite dominant again, your new team members are quite demanding so it's hard again to set some personal boundaries, and even the new love of your life is not perfect after all.

Longing for your comfort zone

Your ideal image directs you straight to your comfort zone. The ideal image differs per person. Whereas one prefers to contribute to the life of others someone else wants to remain independent no matter what, and a third one strives for harmony throughout his entire life. However, spasticly trying to conserve your ideal image is simply evoking the problems in your life.

A true fan of harmony will immediately soothe a looming conflict, only triggering some more fierce responses. When you don't want to be restricted you prefer to keep all the options open. But not making a choice at all may leave you empty handed.

Your inner motivation directs you 24/7

Your ideal image is strongly related to your inner motivations, also known as your auto-pilot. Your inner motivation directs you 24/7. They determine where you want to be (your attraction / comfort zone) and what you want to stay away from (your avoidance). Unconsciously, this mechanism will also trigger you to contribute to what you perceive as your problems.

If adapting would be easy, everyone could easily solve their problems. So, how come that people consciously take decisions to change, take the effort to do so, but do not achieve what they want? Your auto-pilot is the root cause here, unconsciously sabotaging sustainable change. Coaching based on inner motivations provides you insight in your auto-pilot. Once you understand how it works you can also learn how to change course. At that point you've learned to breakthrough unconscious patterns.